Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
So... with the wonderful christmas season arriving quickly so many thoughts cross through my mind on top of all the stress that is wringing its way through my core. I did not capitalize christmas for several reasons, and for those of you who read this will understand by the end.
Keep in mind I do enjoy this season as much as the next person, family gatherings and just over all watching the joy on my children's faces is enough for me. And I must admit I do love the mystery of what to get everyone. Research at its best- allowing me to dig into the unknown and search for those things that will put a light on someone's face.
This is one of those things that I understandably don't voice my opinion about because I hate to kill everyone's seasonal joy. In the spirit of all things random, my thoughts will write themselves and be placed out there for the world to judge.
To be honest with everyone out there reading this I don't know where to truly begin. With so many theories, myths, traditions around christmas I don't know where to start this journey. I guess the main reason for this joyous holiday shall be brought forth first. So as we tread into the darkness of the first celebration of christmas most would see it as winter solstice.
I am not going to go into detail, but as most of you know christmas was first picked as a 'birthday for Jesus' to coincide with the winter solstice to basically delete pagan religious ceremonies. For those of you who don't know this: Jesus (if you believe, there are some who may not) was not born on December 25 as the celebration would allow you to believe. So for those of you who do celebrate this as a holy day, a special birthday persay... go ahead if you wish, but know that it is not real. It was, is a myth day created by, I believe the Romans... (if I am wrong, don't sue me because... well this is not a truth finding sight... just random thoughts.) If you would like more information regarding this: https://www.gotquestions.org/December-25.html
For those of you who wish to continue this celebration for the birth of someone that we do not truly know existed then so be it, I will not judge. I just want you all to know that Dec 25 was not the day he was born. Rather no one knows what day, month, or even what year he (if he was real) was born. I do understand the symbology of it so carry on to those who do this.
As for santa claus, or st. nick, or who ever breaks into every house in one night to bring presents... I'm glad you were a part of my childhood (even now I secretly watch the sky on christmas ever to see if you fly... this coming from the same mind that still said earlier that Jesus might never have existed.) I think this is because during my childhood santa was real. He wasn't just a symbol of something that I had to believe in to exist. Santa came to my house every year, without delay and made the whole world wonderful again. Some of my most treasured memories are from christmas eve and presents under the tree.
One that I have never mentioned to anyone before... I remember waking up (I don't know how old I was) going out to find the entire living room lit up with christmas lights shining off all the wrapping paper. It was like walking into a treasure vault... All shiny and brilliant, even though no other light was lit except the tree, that living room was the brightest I had ever seen it in my entire life. I peaked through all the boxes and wrappings, not opening one thing, but once I laid my eyes upon that one present I knew with everything that christmas was, this present was what I had been begging for. This one present was every bit of christmas to me. Carefully I lifted it up, saw that it was indeed for me I clung to it. Laying back down on the couch taking in all the magnificence before me gripping tightly onto my gift I fell back asleep. It probably wasn't long before my dad actually came out and carefully picked me up. I refused to let go of this gift as he carried me back into my room. I am quite sure that my dad placed me back in bed with my arms still wrapped around this gift that santa had brought me. That christmas memory is one that I will continue to cherish forever, not only because it was one of the greatest memories I have of my dad, but I now know that it was my mom that bought me the baton that I so dearly desired back then.
That is what makes christmas so stressful for me as well. I have tried and tried to recreate this scene in my head from that memory for my own children, and so many times I feel as though I fail... Someday I hope to provide such a memory to my own kids and they can pass on that tradition of just true love. That is how christmas morning felt for me then. I don't remember every christmas, but that one I will never forget. True love lit up the entire living room, surrounded me and pulled me in. (Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what else I had received that christmas except for that baton.)
So, now that I have told you something truly deep from within, that is what santa is to me. Others may say it is Jesus... So whatever you believe in on this christmas day... Just find the love behind, flowing, echoing, lighting up everything around you. Do not let the stress of the world get you down... Allow love to guide you... (I say that as I am more stressed out than ever over here in my little corner, ready to cry, break, and fall apart for so many reasons more than one christmas present looming somewhere out there, still undelivered... and if it doesn't show up, I am quite sure that I will cry.)
I know that christmas is not about gifts, but that of love. I know that I am not buying my children's love with christmas gifts, rather I am showing them how much I listen... I want them to know that I listen to what they want and I try like hell to get it for them. My children know that I am not the richest mother in the world, but they know that I try my best to get them everything they may ever want or need. That in itself is the greatest gift I think though that I could ever get on christmas. Even though they may not get everything that was listed or requested, my children are always happy with what they receive knowing that I had done my best and tried as hard as I could. Just seeing the smiles on their faces is the best gift I could ever receive.
That goes for every person that receives a gift from me. I do not need a present in return so long as I see the happiness on their face and the light shining brilliantly in their eyes. I know then that I had succeeded in giving them a piece of myself. I gave them christmas morning.
Keep in mind I do enjoy this season as much as the next person, family gatherings and just over all watching the joy on my children's faces is enough for me. And I must admit I do love the mystery of what to get everyone. Research at its best- allowing me to dig into the unknown and search for those things that will put a light on someone's face.
This is one of those things that I understandably don't voice my opinion about because I hate to kill everyone's seasonal joy. In the spirit of all things random, my thoughts will write themselves and be placed out there for the world to judge.
To be honest with everyone out there reading this I don't know where to truly begin. With so many theories, myths, traditions around christmas I don't know where to start this journey. I guess the main reason for this joyous holiday shall be brought forth first. So as we tread into the darkness of the first celebration of christmas most would see it as winter solstice.
I am not going to go into detail, but as most of you know christmas was first picked as a 'birthday for Jesus' to coincide with the winter solstice to basically delete pagan religious ceremonies. For those of you who don't know this: Jesus (if you believe, there are some who may not) was not born on December 25 as the celebration would allow you to believe. So for those of you who do celebrate this as a holy day, a special birthday persay... go ahead if you wish, but know that it is not real. It was, is a myth day created by, I believe the Romans... (if I am wrong, don't sue me because... well this is not a truth finding sight... just random thoughts.) If you would like more information regarding this: https://www.gotquestions.org/December-25.html
For those of you who wish to continue this celebration for the birth of someone that we do not truly know existed then so be it, I will not judge. I just want you all to know that Dec 25 was not the day he was born. Rather no one knows what day, month, or even what year he (if he was real) was born. I do understand the symbology of it so carry on to those who do this.
As for santa claus, or st. nick, or who ever breaks into every house in one night to bring presents... I'm glad you were a part of my childhood (even now I secretly watch the sky on christmas ever to see if you fly... this coming from the same mind that still said earlier that Jesus might never have existed.) I think this is because during my childhood santa was real. He wasn't just a symbol of something that I had to believe in to exist. Santa came to my house every year, without delay and made the whole world wonderful again. Some of my most treasured memories are from christmas eve and presents under the tree.
One that I have never mentioned to anyone before... I remember waking up (I don't know how old I was) going out to find the entire living room lit up with christmas lights shining off all the wrapping paper. It was like walking into a treasure vault... All shiny and brilliant, even though no other light was lit except the tree, that living room was the brightest I had ever seen it in my entire life. I peaked through all the boxes and wrappings, not opening one thing, but once I laid my eyes upon that one present I knew with everything that christmas was, this present was what I had been begging for. This one present was every bit of christmas to me. Carefully I lifted it up, saw that it was indeed for me I clung to it. Laying back down on the couch taking in all the magnificence before me gripping tightly onto my gift I fell back asleep. It probably wasn't long before my dad actually came out and carefully picked me up. I refused to let go of this gift as he carried me back into my room. I am quite sure that my dad placed me back in bed with my arms still wrapped around this gift that santa had brought me. That christmas memory is one that I will continue to cherish forever, not only because it was one of the greatest memories I have of my dad, but I now know that it was my mom that bought me the baton that I so dearly desired back then.
That is what makes christmas so stressful for me as well. I have tried and tried to recreate this scene in my head from that memory for my own children, and so many times I feel as though I fail... Someday I hope to provide such a memory to my own kids and they can pass on that tradition of just true love. That is how christmas morning felt for me then. I don't remember every christmas, but that one I will never forget. True love lit up the entire living room, surrounded me and pulled me in. (Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what else I had received that christmas except for that baton.)
So, now that I have told you something truly deep from within, that is what santa is to me. Others may say it is Jesus... So whatever you believe in on this christmas day... Just find the love behind, flowing, echoing, lighting up everything around you. Do not let the stress of the world get you down... Allow love to guide you... (I say that as I am more stressed out than ever over here in my little corner, ready to cry, break, and fall apart for so many reasons more than one christmas present looming somewhere out there, still undelivered... and if it doesn't show up, I am quite sure that I will cry.)
I know that christmas is not about gifts, but that of love. I know that I am not buying my children's love with christmas gifts, rather I am showing them how much I listen... I want them to know that I listen to what they want and I try like hell to get it for them. My children know that I am not the richest mother in the world, but they know that I try my best to get them everything they may ever want or need. That in itself is the greatest gift I think though that I could ever get on christmas. Even though they may not get everything that was listed or requested, my children are always happy with what they receive knowing that I had done my best and tried as hard as I could. Just seeing the smiles on their faces is the best gift I could ever receive.
That goes for every person that receives a gift from me. I do not need a present in return so long as I see the happiness on their face and the light shining brilliantly in their eyes. I know then that I had succeeded in giving them a piece of myself. I gave them christmas morning.
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