Let's Be Honest

It is odd when someone walks up to you, there is something unspoken in the air, as their eyes meet yours you instantly feel it. An attraction, a connection, pulls you toward each other. That moment right there is when you look at someone and realize they have the same connection that you are feeling is something surreal. It has been quite sometime since I have had that feeling near someone that I had just met. As I looked into his eyes, the world paused for a brief moment for both of us. It is such a strange feeling.

For those of you who don't know I do not believe in love at first sight, but this is possibly what they are speaking of when they say they fall in love when first meeting someone. 

I know for a fact that it wasn't love that I was feeling. I know love, but it was a definite combined attraction from both of us. I could see how his eyes changed between talking to someone else and then looking at me. There was a glimmer, a shine that I can't quite explain. It was like I knew that somewhere deep inside of myself that this could grow to more. This could be something beyond what it is right now.

This feeling that I am explaining is something that I had just felt with someone new. Someone who had just walked into my life. But, this is a huge but, I love someone else. This feeling that I'm describing was so odd, because I feel it everyday with one person. To notice it with someone else felt strange. We kept it formal, but it was a mutual attraction that we had.

Everyday, each time that I look into his eyes, I get that feeling. To have that attraction with the person you are living with is just awesome. There will be no point in my life that I don't think that I could ever deny my attraction for him. It has been there since the day we met, years and years ago. Although, it was different because with the love of my life, I felt myself being pulled towards him. Call it a crush or butterflies in my stomach, whatever, I have been attracted to him since I was 15 years old. After so many years, marriage and divorce, and no contact whatsoever, that attraction was still there. 

It was actually so clear, of my attraction (I'm not sure if my eyes just lit up or what it was) that my ex refused (although we all had mutual friends), absolutely refused to, let me be around this man. It wasn't that I can't control myself because I am quite able to do that. He just knew that there was this unspoken attraction between us and it didn't matter how or why, he was afraid of it. (And probably for good reason. I will note that the attraction I had did not cause my divorce in anyway.) 

It was a couple months after my divorce that we became antiquated once more. He found out that I was single once more, and it was game on since then. The attraction never disappeared even through out troubles, every time I look into his eyes I'm just drawn inside of them. I feel like a little school girl so giddy with the first crush of her life. That is the feeling I get each and every time I look into his eyes. To me he is the most gorgeous man that had ever walked on this planet. 

I have been lucky enough to be with someone that I hope shares this attraction. I only had to remark on this because it has been so long since I've actually felt it around someone else. I love my man. He is my man, and no one will ever be. I have been blessed with the ability to feel undeniably attracted to the man I love. To feel that connection with him is something more than I can explain.