The Prologue... check it out!
The Prologue has been born... Tell me what you think:
Once upon a time in a kingdom, long since
forgotten, an Archangel fell in love with a human, creating the first forbidden
love. Their passion for one another sparked a feud between brothers, but it
also brought about the first child ever born, a Prince.
As war began in the second
Heaven, Samael dutifully served his creator, but mostly he fought to keep his
secret love safe. His own brother, Lucifer took up an army of angels against
him. Their creator, Elohim, stepped in and cast Lucifer down. Elohim forbid Lucifer
and his followers to never leave the sanctity of the second heaven for their betrayal.
For loving outside of his kind and producing the first child, Elohim took away Samael’s
right to procreate by castrating him.
Fearing
for the humans Elohim created the third heaven, a Garden of Eden. It was there
Elohim formed humankind. Unable to travel into the third heaven without his
love, Samael asked Elohim to bestow upon Lilith Lucifer’s forbidden powers. Being
the first mother, Elohim granted her the powers, but only with the exception
she gives up her spot beside Samael and her son. Lilith and Samael’s only son,
the First-Borne Prince of the second heaven must also dwell in the fifth heaven
under his father’s rule, giving up his right to the throne in the second heaven.
Unwilling
to accept Elohim’s rules she agrees, until she receives the Fallen Prince’s
powers. As the first made witch, Lilith casts a spell upon her son, allowing him
to take his throne once he finds his Queen. After cunning the sons of Elohim to
lay with the daughters of men, creating more like her son, she then blessed one
soul incapable of dying. A soul having all the powers matching her son’s would be
placed into the body of a descendant of a Nephilim. Thus, the phoenix was born.
After Elohim discovered her plot
against his will, their battles grew larger, relinquishing its fury frequently
into all the heavens. Thus Lilith stood against Elohim and was severely punished
every time. Each time the Phoenix came closer to her son, Elohim would create
another barrier preventing them from being together. Elohim placed in front of
the Phoenix a set of trials that she must complete before being allowed to live
or love her Prince of the second heaven.
Now as we enter into the fifth
heaven and approach the fate of the Phoenix, we must understand the hardships
Elohim has placed upon her soul. The Phoenix will die as the body dies, but her
soul will then be once more reincarnated into a newborn descendant of the
Nephilim. Unlike other descendants, the Phoenix’s powers will continue to lie reasonably
dormant until two hundred full moons have risen. It will then be on that two hundredth
full moon, she will truly begin to gain her full powers, but her ascension into
the true Phoenix comes with the price of seeing her fatal end. After her ascension
she will either seek out her own death to stop the demise of her fate or she
will lose control over her own growing powers killing herself as well as those
around her.
Mixed reactions from my perspective. I think this holds the promises of a great story and could develop into such. however, I also find it much too conforming to the known story, the biblical story. I would suggest you take it from another angle, a bit further removed from the known story. I must also admit that I was drawn to this because I see some aspects of it is not unlike one of my own stories which I'm currently working on. I wish you well with this and other works. Note, pay attention to those spellings.
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