Rough Days...
So, now that life has caught up to me, and I am feeling the overwhelming effects of being too busy, I took some time for myself last night. My laptop continued to kill my chargers, to find out low and behold the battery was sucking the life right out of them. So a few weeks ago I bought a new one, just to charge it, get it running, then allow it to sit and collect dust. I have been so busy, that my tired has blown a fuse and I may be attached to the jumper box for quite sometime. I am literally so tired that I cannot possibly function at any semblance of normal anymore. Between remodeling, my daughter's softball practices that continuously run half an hour late each night (so I sit in the car for 40 to 45 minutes waiting for her to come out), trying to get dinner cooked, keeping the house at a decent clean level, my son's antics with his new girlfriend, I am in over my head and feel like I must go to work, just so I don't have to work. Honestly, I have put my phone on do not disturb for the past few days, just for one less thing to worry about. That doesn't matter though because the messages still crawl inside, begging for a response. The dentist has called three times in the past two days for me to confirm an appointment, the dog warden called because I didn't renew the license for my puppy who passed away just a couple short weeks after we got him. And then there are numbers that show up, and no message is left so I just ignore them...
Anyway, I have been so out of it, that last night when I finally just said that is enough, I'm not doing anything tonight. I got home in time to run my daughter to the elementary school for practice, to find out no one was there. Thinking possibly, since this was a impromptu practice, it might have been held at the high school. So as we are on our way, my daughter gets a message from another player: The practice doesn't start for another half hour AT THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, which is the whole way across town... So she begs me to stop at the McDonalds and get her a snack, which I do because, what the hell we have at least 15 minutes before we have to be the school. So as I drop her off, I realize I have now been in the car for an hour since getting off work. :( Another 10 minutes until I get home... Turn around in an hour to go pick her up, I find myself sitting back in the car, waiting, waiting... and waiting... as soon as these girls come out of the school and getting into their parents cars I watch them speed off as if they were starting a drag race. I knew I was upset, but these parents were down right outraged... So after spending nearly two hours of my night inside the car, I get home and finish cooking supper. After everyone is fed and I can worry about me, because like I said, I was taking the night off from everything. I pulled up my laptop...
American Pickers is in the background... distracting me... I reach for my earbuds, gone... thanks to my daughter who has lost every set of earbuds I own. After borrowing some of my son, I try to dive right into writing... Where to start... after a few moments of pondering and sorting out everything (You have to remember this is a new laptop, and I just threw all my documents on, and didn't organize squat... that and it has been weeks, if not a couple months since I have actually got to sit down and write anything.) I decide I am not in the mood to write anything new. Instead I am going to continue to edit Apollo's Light and fix it... After sitting there for an hour, carefully sorting through, editing, changing words, sentences, fixing it just the way I want it... I change the name and save it in my edited folder... just to find out that I have already edited this chapter, plus the next three.... ... .... ...
Yep, that's right... You don't understand how much I wanted to hit myself... Out of shear desperation I close my laptop, leave the food to rot on the stove, and say enough is enough, I'm going to bed. Nope. Nothing is that simple. Fix the fire... I move the door with the shovel as it comes back, flying smashing my ring finger between it and the handle... blood oozing, head to the bathroom, no band aids... oh well. Move the door and I hear, ping, and something hit the floor. I lower my head to find a hinge pin laying on the floor... After a minute of disappointment in myself for wanting to just leave it on the floor I pick it up, study it carefully as well as the hinges on the door (Keep in mind we are remodeling, and replaced all the doors in the hallway). Nothing is out of the ordinary, or so it seems. I just pass it off as something we forgot on the shelf and it just happened to fall at that moment...
Not more than five minutes after I get comfortable in bed, my son comes knocking, "Mom, I figured out what that noise was you heard." Ugh, up out of bed I go to investigate. Here the hinge pin did fall out of the door in the bathroom. (Now imagine that, you go to use the bathroom, and the door falls right off its hinges...) Apparently (pre-hung doors don't care which way the hinges are placed, even upside down.) I just saw a cap on the top, tricking me into thinking it was a pin in the top of the hinge. I hand the problem off to my main man, my carpenter, my love, and say good luck, I'm going to bed.
So as far as getting nothing accomplished except for supper, yep, that happened. Now, I didn't get the relaxation I wanted, I didn't get anything written, I didn't get rid of any stress building inside... Nope, absolutely nothing got done last night... Ugh, slams head off the desk, cracking my skull open to watch it bleed onto the floor. (Yep, just another mess to clean.)
If any one of my followers began wondering what happened to me, worry no more, I am just stressed, busy and lost in the blurriness of my own mind. Good luck to all of you out there. (Oh, I have decided how to end Apollo's Light...)
Anyway, I have been so out of it, that last night when I finally just said that is enough, I'm not doing anything tonight. I got home in time to run my daughter to the elementary school for practice, to find out no one was there. Thinking possibly, since this was a impromptu practice, it might have been held at the high school. So as we are on our way, my daughter gets a message from another player: The practice doesn't start for another half hour AT THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, which is the whole way across town... So she begs me to stop at the McDonalds and get her a snack, which I do because, what the hell we have at least 15 minutes before we have to be the school. So as I drop her off, I realize I have now been in the car for an hour since getting off work. :( Another 10 minutes until I get home... Turn around in an hour to go pick her up, I find myself sitting back in the car, waiting, waiting... and waiting... as soon as these girls come out of the school and getting into their parents cars I watch them speed off as if they were starting a drag race. I knew I was upset, but these parents were down right outraged... So after spending nearly two hours of my night inside the car, I get home and finish cooking supper. After everyone is fed and I can worry about me, because like I said, I was taking the night off from everything. I pulled up my laptop...
American Pickers is in the background... distracting me... I reach for my earbuds, gone... thanks to my daughter who has lost every set of earbuds I own. After borrowing some of my son, I try to dive right into writing... Where to start... after a few moments of pondering and sorting out everything (You have to remember this is a new laptop, and I just threw all my documents on, and didn't organize squat... that and it has been weeks, if not a couple months since I have actually got to sit down and write anything.) I decide I am not in the mood to write anything new. Instead I am going to continue to edit Apollo's Light and fix it... After sitting there for an hour, carefully sorting through, editing, changing words, sentences, fixing it just the way I want it... I change the name and save it in my edited folder... just to find out that I have already edited this chapter, plus the next three.... ... .... ...
Yep, that's right... You don't understand how much I wanted to hit myself... Out of shear desperation I close my laptop, leave the food to rot on the stove, and say enough is enough, I'm going to bed. Nope. Nothing is that simple. Fix the fire... I move the door with the shovel as it comes back, flying smashing my ring finger between it and the handle... blood oozing, head to the bathroom, no band aids... oh well. Move the door and I hear, ping, and something hit the floor. I lower my head to find a hinge pin laying on the floor... After a minute of disappointment in myself for wanting to just leave it on the floor I pick it up, study it carefully as well as the hinges on the door (Keep in mind we are remodeling, and replaced all the doors in the hallway). Nothing is out of the ordinary, or so it seems. I just pass it off as something we forgot on the shelf and it just happened to fall at that moment...
Not more than five minutes after I get comfortable in bed, my son comes knocking, "Mom, I figured out what that noise was you heard." Ugh, up out of bed I go to investigate. Here the hinge pin did fall out of the door in the bathroom. (Now imagine that, you go to use the bathroom, and the door falls right off its hinges...) Apparently (pre-hung doors don't care which way the hinges are placed, even upside down.) I just saw a cap on the top, tricking me into thinking it was a pin in the top of the hinge. I hand the problem off to my main man, my carpenter, my love, and say good luck, I'm going to bed.
So as far as getting nothing accomplished except for supper, yep, that happened. Now, I didn't get the relaxation I wanted, I didn't get anything written, I didn't get rid of any stress building inside... Nope, absolutely nothing got done last night... Ugh, slams head off the desk, cracking my skull open to watch it bleed onto the floor. (Yep, just another mess to clean.)
If any one of my followers began wondering what happened to me, worry no more, I am just stressed, busy and lost in the blurriness of my own mind. Good luck to all of you out there. (Oh, I have decided how to end Apollo's Light...)
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